Have you ever had flashbacks that you do not want to remember. A flashback that hurts you mentally & emotionally. A flashback that caused a scar in your heart. A flashback that scares you if it were to happen again. (?)
Yup. That’s me right now. Having sudden flashbacks about those time when he used to talk to other woman behind my back. What hurts the most when he denied about having a relationship with me (we were together), when I became a “bad person” that makes him find comfort from others than at me. You do not know how hurtful it was.
I do not like having such flashbacks because it hurts me so damn fuck*ng bad. I can’t see my other half to be with someone else. Tak kira to seek advice, normal convo or find comfort. Just fuck no. No no no. Especially the way he talk to them, I wish that’s how he would talk to me rather than being cold or complaining that I am being so needy, overthinking, annoying. It hurts you know. All I want is your love, attention & care. Dengan perempuan lain berbual sweet bagai. Siol, hati perit ji.
There will always be someone who is better than who we are now. I will still choose you over and over again. You sorang yang I sayang, dunia dan akhirat. I sayang you sangat sangat walaupun dulu I pernah juga sakitkan hati you. Kadang tanpa I sedar, kadang berulang berkali-kali sebab I ni degil. Haha. Thank you for loving me and choose to stay with me. Love me always okay sayang? Because I always do.
Cite lama kot. Tak perlu dikenang walaupun flashback macam ni mungkin akan kembali dalam fikiranku. Biasa lah, cinta monyet la kan. Masih belum waras, satu sama lain ada kekurangan. Apa pun, Alhamdullilah for everything now. Doa yang baik-baik.
It’s mid-2021 now. Tak lama lagi da sah jadi suami isteri. Thank you Allah, for giving me the strength & faith to overcome such difficulties I was facing. May Allah protect our relationship at all cost and permudahkan urusan kami berdua. Amin.
To my soon to be husband, I am sorry for the first few years that I penting kan kawan and I did so many mistakes that hurts you. I learnt from it. Thank you sayang sebab you da ubah diri untuk focus dalam diri you, hobbi you & also in me. Thank you sayang sebab dah tak berbual dengan betina lain dibelakang i. Potong beberd u!!! 🤬 I have seen dramastic changes in you. Syukur Alhamdullilah sayang. Please maintain this way. I sorang je perempuan yang you boleh tergoda tau. Hahaha. Semoga kite kekal hingga ke akhir hayat. Amin.
I can’t deny the fact that I am hard to handle. Especially when I need someone to be really patience with me to understand things that I can barely understand or took me sometime to understand a situation. It really saddens me when people lose patience. In their shoes, yes it does feels frustrating to repeatedly explain the same thing over & over again. But it’s just me.. Aku bodoh sangat ke apa sia. People don’t understand how tiring & frustrating it is to be me. Otak aku da lembab, legong, bodoh nak mampos. Menyusahkan orang. Just bodoh.
Congratulations on your wedding ❤️ I am very happy for you, a new chapter begin and you are a wife now.
I never want to hurt you. I tried to contact you back, but there isn’t any response. I did not know where we went wrong? If i did a mistake that made us apart, please tell me. If there is anything you want to let me know, please tell me too. We didn’t had any closure to this & I’m wondering still what made us to be far apart.
I miss the old us. I really hope you could get back to me, somehow… someway… if you want us to be this way with your own reason, i’ll respect that but with at least a proper closure?
Anyway, once again selamat pengantin baru babe. I miss you always, I love you too. May you be a good wife, & your marriage be blessed with constant happiness, health, wealth & love! Semoga dikurniakan cahaya mata yang soleh & soleha. Amin.
